Speaker Phone

Most days I desperately hope the person who invented speakerphone is leading a miserable, lonely, pain-filled existence.  They deserve it for inflicting the blight of the speaker phone on cubicle dwellers everywhere.

It’s beyond annoying when someone else is trying to listen to their own voicemail messages, but can’t hear them over yours on speakerphone.  Even worse, it’s extremely awkward when someone else is on the phone with a client (you know, actually working) and your extremely personal voicemail messages are blasting into the conversation.

I’m sure someone somewhere thinks that speakerphone is wonderful thing.  It isn’t.  It’s annoying to your fellow cubicle dwellers, especially when you use it every time you check your voicemail.  You really can’t hold the receiver and write down your messages at the same time?  You have serious problems.  And you have no idea how tempting it is to call back and cancel your doctor’s appointments.

It’s Called a Key/Pass Card/Badge

Secure workspaces aren’t anything new.  I’ve never been employed in a professional (I use that term very loosely in this context) setting that didn’t have some sort of secure access for employees.  On your first day they always give you these handy little devices that allow you to get in.  They’re usually called something like keys, pass cards, or badges.  There may be other names for them, but hopefully you get m y point; which is that they’re a handy little device of your very own that lets you into the work area.  Amazing, huh?

These handy little devices are usually incredibly simple to use; you insert them into a hole and turn them, slide them in and out of a little slot, or wave them in front of a little scanning device, and the door magically unlocks itself.  It doesn’t sound too complicated, right?  Wrong!

Apparently carrying and using these handy little devices on a daily basis is on the same difficulty level as curing cancer and obtaining world peace.  It simply cannot be done by everyone.  No, it seems that many people (the rate seems to go up with position and even more so with perceived position and importance) find it nearly impossible.  So I say again, it’s called a key/pass card, badge, USE IT to let yourself into the work area instead of constantly harassing the front desk personnel to “buzz you back”, which entails stopping what they’re doing to contort themselves into some unnatural position to reach the buzzer that was probably placed there by an imbecile just like you!  

Standing Over Me Does Not Make Me Work Faster

In every office I’ve ever worked in there has always been at least one person who seems to believe that standing over you, literally breathing down your neck, while you’re working on something will make you get it done faster.  It doesn’t, not at all.  Even if that person’s breath is reminiscent of the dump on a hot summer day and you’d gladly trade away 10 years of your life to make them go away sooner.  It just doesn’t work.

In fact it’s nerve wracking and disruptive.  I type and do other office work much faster and with very few errors if there’s not some jerk breathing down my neck.  It’s not out of spite; it’s that the stress and annoyance (not to mention the effort not to breathe through my nose if the hoverer is the person with dump breath) aren’t conducive to efficient and quality work. 

So what about you?  Does it make it harder for you to work quickly and do a good job if there’s someone standing over you?  Have you found a way to discourage the behavior?  

Welcome to Tales of an Angry Admin

I’m beginning this blog because I truly believe I’ve reached my breaking point at work.   Oh, I know I’m lucky to have a job; the economy is terrible, I shouldn’t complain, blah, blah, blah.

I get it.  I know I’m lucky to have a job, or at least I’m lucky to have a paycheck and some benefits, paltry though they may be.  I don’t, however, think I’m so lucky to work in a place that’s likely going to cause me to wind up in a mental institution.  I don’t think it’s lucky that in spite of doing a lot more work I haven’t had a raise in four years.  I don’t think that’s lucky at all.

I’ve been in a support position for about ten years now, and I’ve reached the point where I’m rather desperately wishing life gave you do-overs.   I’d do it over and go to school for something else.  I have no idea what, just not something that would land me where I’m at now.   Unfortunately life doesn’t give you do-overs, so here I am. 

So, here’s my little bloggy about all of the things at work (past jobs and present hell hole included) that drive me nuts, push me to my breaking point, and make me faithfully buy a lottery ticket every week.  I’m hopeful that if you’re in a similar position we can commiserate some.  Misery loves company, right?  Or, if you’re in a position where you have support staff, I sincerely hope you’ll learn some things.  You really don’t want to be the object of this much silent animosity. 

So, for the first tale of an angry admin we’ll start with being a mystical being capable of rare and mysterious feats such as adding paper to the copier, picking up documents off of the fax and printer, and the highly specialized skill of being able to walk to another department within the building.

Rare and Mysterious Skills

Let me start off by saying that every place I’ve ever worked in this capacity has never added support staff positions at the rate they add “higher up” positions.  They’ll add multiple “higher up” positions without adding so much as a single part time support staff position.  Sometimes they even eliminate a support staff position in the process of adding more “higher up” positions.  It’s always “understood” that because of this the higher-ups will be responsible for doing a little more of their own clerical or support work.  Of course, it’s never understood by the higher-ups themselves.  No, they keep right on calling you down the hallway to go pick up something off of the printer for them, or pulling you off an urgent phone call you’re making on behalf of another higher-up to walk something to another department. 

This is especially annoying to me when the person who can’t walk across the hall to another department to drop their own paperwork off likes to tell you how athletic they are.  Umm, really?  Even with my life-lifelong love affair with carbohydrates I can walk across the hall.  I would assume that a highly educated, very athletic person would be able to as well.

Let’s not forget the rare and mysterious skill of being able to find all misplaced items.  That client file that you alone have had for six months and is buried somewhere in the pigsty you call your office?  Sure I can put my hands on it, from the other end of the office.  We wouldn’t want you to stress yourself by actually opening your filing cabinets, or moving some of the debris on your desk.  Of course not.  It’s much easier to get on the intercom asking me where it is.

Then there’s the rare and mysterious skill of being able to add paper to the copier.  It’s harder than it looks, you know.  And it’s not like the “add paper” light flashing gives you any clue what you might need to do.  Of course, even if you do figure it out, it’s not like you can find the paper that’s sitting right next to the copier.  No, you need to start frantically yelling for the one support person, who is across the hall delivering someone else’s paperwork to another department that “something’s wrong with the copier”. 

So what about you?  Do you have any rare and mysterious skills like these?